6. Consent is just as important online as it is ‘irl’.
Consent is a mutual, voluntary, informed, decision between clear-minded, of-age participants before any and every sexual act.
It is wrong to force someone to engage in anything, and active consent should be sought before, during, and after the sexual activity. Check in with the other person or people each time a new type of activity begins. As well as asking for verbal consent, watch their facial expressions and body language to gauge whether they are comfortable. If they seem unhappy, or if you are unsure whether they are consenting, stop engaging in the activity. Silence, or the absence of a ‘no’, does not mean that consent is given; consent is indicated by a clear, affirmative, freely-given ‘yes’. Consent can be withdrawn by any party at any stage.
As mentioned above, individuals under the age of 17 and highly intoxicated individuals cannot consent to any sexual act.
7. Remember that what you see in pornography often isn’t an accurate reflection of reality.
Many people watch porn for sexual pleasure and/or out of curiosity. Problems can arise, however, when we conflate what we see online with real life. The internet in general has led to pervasive unrealistic expectations, and we have seen a significant example of this when it comes to pornography. This medium often neglects to convey safe practices such as condom use, consent, and communication. Photoshop and other editing tools are also used regularly, creating unattainable standards.
The necessary approach to combat these issues is two-pronged:
· Moderating the amount of time that we spend using the internet and monitoring the content that we consume.
· Educating people (ideally from a young age) about sex, pornography, and relationships.
